Bow Wow Is Probably Sleeping with Jermaine Dupri

Watch the video for "Roc da Mic" and then read...

OK, so first: upon seeing this on MTV Jams, I was surprised to learn that Bow Wow is still alive and making music. Second, I didn't realize that he is now getting twisted out by Jermaine Dupri ().

Did you listen to that song? I am posting the lyrics because, well, this is some Baby-and-Wayne shit. I am also italicizing the particularly curious portions:

JD
Since day one when he came up
I taught him everything and how to tear the game up (Meeee)
What we went through was a shame but
We back at it now, doing all the same stuff (uh huh)
Being us

Bow Wow
When I left I heard all the words and the lil’ birds in the background
Saying “How he gon’ act now?” (uh huh)
Be stubborn lil’ homie couldn’t back down, but I’m back now
And we back around

JD
Killin’ all the daughters and they mama ‘long with ‘em (yeah)
Lil' homie so crazy and he stay tryna split ‘em (yeaah)
Stay with his shirt off, gang of tattoos
All the homies like, “N***a, he act just like you”

Bow Wow
J and it’s true, I do and I ain’t even gonna front
Tryna hit it out the park while these other n***as bluff
Roll up like a blunt, straight stuntin’ on these n***as
Like you and Jay did when I was just a kid

Chorus
They say we talk just alike
Walk just alike
Same damn swagger
When we Roc up on the Mic
All the girls like
He can get it
All my n***as hands up
Lemme know that you wit’ it
(Repeat 2x)

Bow Wow
Look I’m on that Obama, no drama, all about the dough (okay)
In with the new, (and) out with the old
Stay making it, keepin the people wantin’ mo’
And for L-I-F-E W-E So-So

JD
So cold like a winter night in Chi-Town (yeah)
You know (yeah) you ain’t hot, homie, pipe down
See the label done got a n***a hype
Stop running around, lying ‘bout your motherfuckin’ life, clown

Bow Wow
The real don’t do that
I be lookin’ at em like, “Ewww who do that?”
Kids don’t feel that
But you wouldn’t know
Cuz you getting too old and slow
Said he poppin’ when you barely goin’ gold, n***a,(whoa)

JD
Same Lambo, same Bent, different color
More like my lil’ son than just my lil’ brother
See I had to let him go
Just so he can really know
You never know what you got
Until its gone
Welcome home

Chorus
They say we talk just alike
Walk just alike
Same damn swagger
When we Roc up on the Mic
All the girls like
He can get it
All my n***as hands up
Lemme know that you wit’ it
(Repeat 2x)

JD
Bow, holla at ‘em

Bow Wow
Okay, Same Lambo, Same Bent, different color
More like a dad than just a big brother
We ain’t always gonna agree
See eye to eye,
But for me, when it come to him, I’m straight Do or Die, I...

JD
Couldn’t’ve said it better, cuz I feel the same
It’s just some things that ain’t never suppose to change
Like when Nicky Barnes switched the name of the Blue Magic
For no reason when it fucked up a good package

Bow Wow
You don’t get a ring, unless you got a team
O’ n***as round you that'll hold you down
Run with you around thru the thick and the thin
When the work ain’t comin’ in
You know the ups and the downs
That we all go thru Jay

JD
You see the moral of the story is
We let the biz come thru and seperate this
Dis been one of the realest and the greatest
Relationships between 2 friends
I’m talkin’ true friends

Chorus
They say we talk just alike
Walk just alike
Same damn swagger
When we Roc up on the Mic
All the girls like
He can get it
All my n***as hands up
Lemme know that you wit’ it
(Repeat 2x)

Bow Wow
I remember when I was just a lil’ boy, you know what I’m saying, when I first started coming to Atlanta, you know. JD used to have all the hottest whips and shit. I used to be like, “You know when I sell my first million, Im'a buy all these shits man. All the girls you talking to, man, Im'a smash all them girls when I get older.” You know what I’m saying? JD, I know you remember that…and I did it! (Laughs) So So Def for life; you know what it is...

Where to start? Well, let's see:

1) What a terribly trite song.

2) It's already enough with rappers and Obama references. This joint; the endless remixes; that new Maino song; fifty more tomorrow. We got it, dudes. And I have news for you: most of you make records that Obama would likely not even listen to, let alone endorse. So them rings and things you sing about? Leave 'em out. Because I am pretty sure that Barack Obama would prefer that you don't name check him as you go about your business.

3) That Blue Magic reference is kind of embarrassing, Jermaine. We all saw American Gangster, and we all heard the Jay-Z album inspired by the movie. That moment has passed. You sound like someone's dad. Which, of course, brings us to the real point of all this...

4) They should have just called this track "Stuntin' Like My Daddy, Pt. 2." Bow Wow stays with his shirt off, all tatted up, just like JD? JD admires the way that Bow Wow works it with the women (project much)?The rap impresario and his former wunderkind have a truly special relationship between two friends? JD is like a father figure for Bow Wow, who's been involved with JD since an impressionable age? The "If you truly love something, let it go" routine? Doesn't it seem like they meant to record this on Valentine's Day? I think it's nice that these two men have found love and happiness with each other, but let's call a spade a spade. They're into each other ().
 

You Don't Have to Go Home, But You Can't Stay Here

Not sure if you heard, but Phil Mickelson spent all offseason working on his putting so that this year, he could return to relevance. This weekend, at the FBR Open, he made his debut.

See, putting!



Nice work, Philly.

You know, it's just, uh, too bad that you can't putt out of a tree...



...and that you still rock the muffin top...



...and that you missed the cut. Oops.

Anyway, great job! Looks like that putting practice made a big difference. Thanks for coming out. Get home safely. And Tiger will be back by Augusta. 2009's gonna be your year!

"You Talkin' All Reckless on the Phone..."

Steph, this ain't the Get-Indicted Hotline:

"I know I'll be able to sign with two teams,"

"The question to be asked to the Knicks is: Are they fearful for me playing for another Eastern Conference team? My thing is, they shouldn't be fearful. They're trying to get under the cap for 2010. They shouldn't be worried about me. You had guys saying I was a distraction, I'm a cancer. If I'm all those things, wouldn't you want me to go to another team?"

"It shouldn't matter that I go to Boston if you're the eighth seed and Boston is in the front...It can't be about money. The Knicks got plenty of it. It's got to be personal. If it's personal, then how is business being done there?"

"It's none of their business what I do when I get out of my deal...They say they don't want to pay me all my money, but they'll be paying me all my money anyway."

"Mr. Dolan says it's up to Donnie Walsh...Walsh told us he's got to run it through Mr. Dolan. It's kids games. Like Barack Obama said, let's put away those childish acts."

Reckless!

If the Knicks are smart, they will refuse a buyout until after March 2nd, when Stephon will no longer be eligible to join another team's playoff roster. That's the move. Period.

It might not be "right" to let Stephon dangle (). It might not be "right" to enjoin him from playing meaningful games for some other team. And there is no shortage of fault that can be attributed to Donnie Walsh if one were seeking to blame him for failing to move Stephon or take decisive action earlier. This has been a circus akin to the one which we all thought had been demoted to the basement (and which failed in its attempt to comit suicide before blaming its own daughter). But the Knicks--who currently pay Stephon to do nothing and, in a perverse way, appease him by perpetuating his outlaw status and making these outbursts far more newsworthy than they should be--do not owe him some gracious, or merely expeditious, exit. Absolutely not.

Not only has Stephon forfeited some dubious notion of implied courtesy through his antics, but the NBA is about winning. You don't bend over backwards () to help some other team. There is a contract in place, no one forced Stephon to sign it, he is getting money, and he can beef with his attorneys and the Players Association if he doesn't like the power which the Knickerbockers can exercise over his playing destiny. As he himself readily volunteers, he can always go play elsewhere.

So be strong, Donnie. Don't let this baby win, no matter how many provocative tantrums he throws.

And Steph--stop snitching!

  

January 26th, 2008: The Day That Awesome Triumphed

Wanna know the realest shit that was ever written in a Bill Kristol column?

This is William Kristol's last column.

That's right, my friends. We were delivered yesterday! From here on out, let the fourth Monday of each January stand as a day when our nation--and all people around the globe who are tired of thoughtless "commentary," self-satisfied elitism, and picayune partisan bickering--stands together in celebration of Kristol's demise.

Oh, happy day! Don't let the door hit you on the way out, Bill.

 

Three-Week Love Affair with Lost…and Now I Hate Myself

Editor's Note: What follows is a post from my sister, The Buckets. -- Joey

Three weeks ago I set out on an arduous journey. I had just returned to San Francisco after my Christmas vacation to visit my family and friends in New York. I was back with little to do and a serious holiday season hangover. My roommate and I had thrown around the idea of getting into the tv show Lost. I don’t know why, because now I really hate myself.

Let's get a few things straight: I love television, and I am hardly a television elitist. Here is a smattering of shows that I watch regularly: Dexter, Mad Men, Big Love, 90210, One Tree Hill, Gossip Girl, The Hills, The City, The Real Housewives of Orange County (Ew, Atlanta), Top Chef, Brothers & Sisters, Survivor, Prison Break. And remember, that is hardly an exhaustive list and does not cover syndicated shows I regularly DVR (i.e. Gilmore Girls). Nor does it include my bedtime shows—the shows I watch on DVD while I fall asleep (i.e. Mary Tyler Moore Show and Felicity). I love TV, and I am willing to watch anything at least mildly entertaining!

I just never got into Lost, though, and it had been for good reason. I have a very certain TV code, a la Dexter Morgan’s killing code. Here are My TV Rules to Live By:

1) Watch from the beginning, or do not watch at all. I like to watch shows from pilot to series finale; it’s all or nothing. Why? Because I like to feel like I’ve been there with the characters, like we’ve grown together. Additionally, how can you truly be an authority on a TV show if you can’t refer to every episode to prove some thesis about said program? How can you feel any ownership or validation as a fan if you aren’t there for the long journey? There is one major (well, now two) exception to this rule in my life—The Office. I love The Office, especially Dwight K. Schrute, but I really feel uncomfortable around die-hard Office fans.

2) Characters not included in the original cast are inherently inferior. I am sorry, but it is virtually impossible for me to care as much about characters who weren’t introduced during season 1 of a show. For example, Mahone is a great character on Prison Break, but I still see him as expendable because he is not part of that original fiber. Brothers & Sisters introducing new characters left and right drives me mad. Pick a group, make it work!

3) Don’t rely upon supernatural occurrences. Realism, people. Give me realism and logic. I have a tough time with some of the more outlandish cases on Grey’s Anatomy.

4) Don’t drop shows. I guess this is really a corollary to #1. Once you’ve committed to a show for at least a season, you can’t stop watching. In the name of full disclosure, I’ve only ever dropped one show—Heroes. It is unwatchable. Although, Bryan Fuller is a genius so maybe it will get better.

5) The fifth rule of Buckets’s code is don’t ever talk about the code. Just kidding. I’ve fallen asleep during Fight Club every time I’ve tried to watch it. I hate Brad Pitt.

Alright, so Lost. Lost violates all four my major tenets. I actually watched the pilot and wasn’t into it, and clearly I have now just started watching. Lost relies upon its new characters perhaps more than anything else. After all, where would this show be now without the primacy of Ben Linus? Juliet Burke (bitch stole my name) is one-third of the estrogen on this show, and she didn’t hit the scene until season 3! Um, Lost has both the most ingenious and infuriating supernatural occurrences. I am willing into buy into the fact that no one gets sick on the island, or they’re not supposed to. I am willing to accept that Walt has some special powers. I am willing to accept that Hurley, Walt, Claire, and Locke can commune with the island. Fine, I’ll take it. But I will not, under no circumstances WHATSOEVER, feel okay with both Anthony Cooper AND Christian Shepherd showing up on the island.

No, those two “facts” of Lost are really not okay. I mean Locke is prone to the supernatural; that was established on Day One of the show. So the “mystery box” that held Anthony Cooper doesn’t bother me as much as I just think it is dumb and laughable. The Christian Shepherd storyline, on the other hand, is infuriating. Are we to believe that every apparition of Christian that Claire and Jack have seen have actually been carnations of Island Spirit Christian? Even in Season 1 when Jack kept seeing Christian? Aside from my bias against the supernatural, this plot development just hurts the show. It seems that they have abandoned the science-versus-magic thread in favor of explained-supernatural-versus-unbelievable-magic. Moreover, Jack as a character is weakened by this development. Instead of being an interesting and complicated man whose relationship with his father is vexed, with whom he never had a proper goodbye, Jack is essentially a victim of the island. And he is significantly less complex. My relationship with Jack is complicated (as all good relationships are!), but now I just feel mad at the writers for robbing me of a nice, tortured, brooding, hot surgeon.

I could probably get over all of these issues with the show. I like the show; I LOVE Desmond, Sawyer, Jack, and Jin; Juliet is pretty good and Sun is decent; Locke may be a nuisance, but I was won over immediately with him in Season 1 because he is such a weird freak; Ben and Locke's scenes are simply fantastic; I really like discussing it with the proprietor of this website; I like watching with my roommate. But here is what I cannot get over: I am just another Lost fan now.

I was just over at Jezebel, and they prepared their thread for a Lost liveblogging event. When this post goes live, the web will be saturated with Lost premiere liveblogs, personal critiques, fan theories, and stills from the two episodes tonight. And who am I? I am just someone who raced through season 1 through 4, someone who loves Jack, someone who doesn’t know anything more about the show than anyone else. I just can’t get over my own #1 rule. From now on, I will enter all group discussions of Lost with feelings of inadequacies. I won’t even be able to retreat into my own mind and remind myself that I love the show more than anyone else. Nor can I say that the show means nothing to me, because I actually do care a lot.

So who am I? I am just another Lost fan.

 

Barack Obama Is So Hip-Hop

Who knew that the best Barack Obama impression would come from some twenty-five-year-old Indian comedian from Canada?

Take Off That Silly-Ass Hat

The ODB couldn't possibly have committed all those crimes...

  

The Real Visit Max B

I'll be honest: I have no idea what to make of this.

City of God's Son

Above is the trailer for City of God's Son, a re-imagining of New York City hip-hop from the 1990s. It's a soundscape, I suppose. But describing it on my blog is a waste of effort and wholly insufficient. Just go to the site and download the audio. Then sit in a dark room and listen for an hour. It is just beyond dope.

You can also read more about the project here. I skimmed this, but I saw that it provided some more background info.

Enjoy.

Life in St. Louis

This is the kind of thing we have on television here:

 

The Savior Speaks

Well, if you were breathlessly awaiting an update on Danilo Gallinari, you're in luck. It appears that only four months after colliding with Robert Traylor, he's back to spiking his hair to play basketball. I love when lottery picks play basketball with gel in their hair. That's the kind of intimidating, self-assured look that so many franchise players--Jason Kapono, Wally Szczerbiak, Josh McRoberts--have rocked.

In Danny's defense, my father and I thought that maybe after his unfortunate, uh, incident with a big, fat black man, he was too scared to ever take the court. To hear, in improving English, that he's working on the kinds of things that could happen in games is auspicious.

So yes, he's still alive.

P.S. To paraphrase the video, don't you just love that even team-made content sent from the Knicks has an advertisement on it? Wouldn't scream "Madison Square Garden" if it didn't. Idiots.

Eddy Curry Prefers That You Know How to Drive Stick

David, I promise--being my driver is so much fun. You'll love it!

It hasn't been a great season of basketball in New York. Before the We Want LeBron trades, the Brickers were a .500 team playing an exciting style, but there was never a time when people lost track of the team's ceiling. Since then, the product has devolved. Take, for instance, the game against the Bucks which I attended back on December 19th. It had all of the contemporary Knickerbocker hallmarks: the Knicks couldn't stop dribble penetration, couldn't block shots, couldn't rotate to shut off open looks, and couldn't rebound consistently. At the other end of the floor, there was no continuity, and, seemingly, no plan. The game's few, fleeting moments of excitement came from Al Harrington, and it was obvious that after one quarter, the entire premise for success was "hope that Al stays hot." With all due respect to Mr. Harrington, planning on him hitting a majority of his three-pointers is not a winning strategy.

To be fair, though, the Knicks are improved, overall. They are, indeed, more competitive, usually they can score more easily, and they can now beat a good team on a given night when they play together and put forth an elevated defensive effort. They've beaten Boston and New Orleans over the past few weeks, for example. But most encouraging, they are acting like professionals. The off-court embarrassments, on-court malaise, and widespread dysfunction have receded to the background. Mostly.

Just as things seem to be turning around...Eddy Curry's former driver alleges that Curry owes him money, called him a KKK member, and solicited gay sex from him.

I have no idea if any of this is true. Stephon Marbury will likely testify at the trial because this seems like the kind of thing he'd know about, either through direct experience or merely as an expert witness, a curator of the absurd. But I do think that Curry needs to go report to whichever broom closet doubles as Isiah Thomas's office. He, surely, will be able to offer crack legal advice and some stirring words of wisdom. Good thing he's still on the payroll.

Hell on Earth

Somehow, this just feels right: odious, annoying Billy Packer will bring his nattering negativity to a sports book in Vegas, a place filled with degenerate gamblers smoking and eating and loathing themselves to death. Just for kicks, Bob Knight's sneering hostility will be there, too.

Vegas is fun in moderation, and I am no stranger to the sports book. But come on--a place with secondhand smoke, sad people, worn carpeting, no sunlight, piped-in oxygen, a volatile bully who may curse you out or punch you out for saying "What's up, Knight," and the endless inanity of Billy Packer? Sounds a lot like something they'd warn against in scripture.

   

Now He'll Have Extra Time to Send Hate Mail to Clay Aiken

Doing the Lord's work, now. Like hating people for reasons beyond their control.

The Super Bowl-winning coach "embraced" the stance of an Indiana organization supporting an amendment to the state constitution that would ban gay marriages, and he added Tuesday night at a gathering of the Indiana Family Institute that he's "on the Lord's side."

"We're not trying to downgrade anyone else," said Dungy, coach of the Super Bowl champion Indianapolis Colts. "But we're trying to promote the family — family values the Lord's way," Dungy said. "IFI is saying what the Lord says. You can take that and make your decision on which way you want to be." - USA Today, March 21, 2007

I just thought that people should keep this in mind as the world weeps for the passing of the great humanitarian Tony Dungy. As I've said before, I am sure he's a swell guy. And no one is saying that on balance he's a monster. But that shouldn't excuse his unembarrassed support of bigotry. I'd like to see someone write about that as he rides off into the sunset. Although, that's as likely as Peter King highlighting Brett Favre's selfishness and drug addiction as Favre makes his next agonizing decision about whether he should continue attempting to save the world playing football or retire and be a rich guy who threw too many interceptions and let his pride submarine his teams for the final years of his career.

The lionizing of NFL figures gets tedious.

Remember When I Posted My Top 50 Songs of the Year?

Yeah, me too. Only thing is, that post got zapped because it had two links to song downloads in it. You know, because you were likely, for example, to buy a two-minute skit about counting money made by an obscure Alabama rap group, and we just couldn't deprive anyone of all those sales. And, you know, because only certain websites are allowed to post music links, apparently. (Don't get it twisted: I ain't got no quarrel with them.)

UPDATE: Anyway...Bummer.

My man smokeYYY salvaged the post from the dustbin of history thanks to Google Reader. BIG UP! So below, please find the original post, with the download links removed. *wipes his brow*

Below, the year's best songs. But first, a few awards:

Best Crazy Song by a Crazy Person - Cam'ron, "Bottom of the Pussy Hole"
Was there ever any doubt about which song would win this award? The title and the Alexyss Tylor samples (NOT AT ALL SAFE FOR WORK. OR ANYONE, PROBABLY. AND NOTE THAT SHE'S TALKING TO HER MOTHER), alone, had this award locked up before Cam even said a word. Just a towering monument to Cameron Giles's mental illness.

Second Best Crazy Song by a Crazy Person - R. Kelly, "Screamer"
I think this song, a graphic paean to loud sex, flew under the radar. Somehow. In a year when R. Kelly's sexual predilections were again a news story. With lyrics like "Pulling on her hair/Grabbing her neck/She give me full control/The utmost respect" and a chorus that is simply, and boastfully, "Shorty is a screamer," this pretty much spoke for itself. Classic Kels.

Third Best Crazy Song by a Crazy Person - Prodigy, "Veterans Memorial, Pt. 2"
Choosing Prodigy's best crazy song is a little like choosing LeBron's best dunk--they're all pretty spectacular, and it mostly comes down to personal preference. I like this one because the beat is strong, the rapping is comically shitty (see here), and there is a mournful drifting sense that perfectly matches the Disgraced P way of life.

Best Song That Lost Its Momentum and Came to Annoy Me - Snoop Dogg, "Cool"
The whole retro-Prince-Cameo thing lost steam pretty quickly. It was fun for a minute.

Best Song That Sampled the Karate Kid Score - G-Side, "One Stack"
Images of Miyagi and Daniel and Sato danced in my head every time I heard this. So naturally, I couldn't stop playing it. Also doubles as skit of the year, for the same reasons. Best Skit was a pretty weak category this year, given that Cam'ron didn't put out a record.

Best Song That Master P Would Make Were He Clowning Himself - Plies ft. Ne-Yo, "Bust It, Baby, Pt. 2"
For roughly three months, I actually thought this was Master P trying to capitalize on the whole T-Wayne movement by reinventing himself as some sing-song rapper. Nope, it wasn't a joke. Maybe that quote should be appended to cover art for future pressings of this single...

Best Song Featuring Singing by Fungible R&B Crooners - TIE: Pete Rock ft. Rell, "That's What I am Talking About"; Ace Hood ft. Trey Stylez, "Ride or Die"
Pete Rock is a god behind the boards and something less than that on the mic. "Talking About" is a fine demonstration of this circumstance. Luckily, his ear for music gave us Rell's soulful stylings, creating one of the more relaxing vibes of the year. This is a fairly lush song. Luckily for Rell, he probably got a pay check.

Now, about Ace Hood--when I first moved to St. Louis, it was 100 degrees every day and my apartment came together slowly. Among the first things I owned were a television and cable service that carried my beloved MTV Jams. I would sweat through each night assembling furniture, waiting for my new computer, and listening to MTV Jams as I worked. All MTV Jams would play at night were blocks of videos featuring some combination of T-Pain, Ricky Rowss, Akon, Lil' Wayne, Ace, and mental midget DJ Khaled. Were that not enough, the interview segments interspersed among the videos all featured Ace and Khaled. If we are judged by the company we keep, then Ace failed the test, because Khaled is a complete moron with no worth. The world would be a better place if he stopped making "music" and ruining said "music" with his whiny yelling. So that's how I first heard of Ace. Not good. Then I heard "Out Here Grindin'," Khaled's unholy orgy of all that ails rap music. It may be the most offensive posse cut of all time. And after hearing Ace spit on it, I was convinced that he, Lil' Boosie, and Plies all have the same learning disability. They may each be autistic, actually.

Sadly, I couldn't shake Ace. The radio stations in St. Louis are really into him for reasons that escape me but are simultaneously part and parcel of the Missouri experience. So every morning, during those drive-time mixes that rap radio will play, I hear Trey Stylez explaining that even though he's in the streets, we all know exactly what he does. And I have come to actually like his singing. *sigh*

Five Beats That Could Use Better Rapping:
1) Lil' Wayne, "Let the Beat Build"
Great beat. Monster. But then Wayne's annoying voice and self-conscious rhyming comes in to ruin it.

2) The Game, "Big Dreams"
Freeway flipped this nicely. The Clipse tried. It's a pretty powerful sound. But Game effs it up with some sloppy rhymes, an entire catalogue filled with thematically analogous efforts that are far better, name drops that are a stretch even for him, and the misguided assurance that his bravado works on this track.

3) The Game ft. Lil' Wayne, "Red Magic"
This is fitting, isn't it? Numbers 1 and 2 combined to make...a bombastic melange of ripped-off music and masturbatory rapping. A cool sonic composition, really, but it falls short.

4) Q da Kid, "On a Mission"
Another ambitious soundscape fumbled by very run-of-the-mill rapping and a pretty grating chorus.

5) Skyzoo ft. Sha Stimuli and ESSO, "My City"
The cinematic strings and the boom-bap drums are dope. So is the intention: no one appreciates riding for New York more than I do. But the trite NY-pride verses are pretty weak.

Worst Song of the Year That People Don't Call Him Out For Enough - Jay-Z, "Jockin' Jay-Z"
This was just horrible. The Run-DMC sample and the "Dirty Money" guitar riff were cool at first, but this beat is ultimately boring without standout rapping. And Jay delivers Kingdome Come-style throwaway bars. Just a total waste. "Why you still talkin' money shit...cuz I like money, bitch"? Single worst line of the year.

50 Best Songs of the Year

50) Skillz, "Sick"
Skillz will never make it big time. His album, Million Dollar Backpack, was the latest boring proof. But on any given verse, or any given song, he can bring it. He's smart, he has an engaging grasp of cultural history, and he can flow. Rides this beat nicely.

49) S.A.S. ft. Cam'ron, "Nothing Long" (Remix)
Generic drug and crime talk doesn't score many points in this precinct. But when it's set to this dramatic beat and delivered with ridiculous British accents, it takes on new value as entertainment, not just hip-hop music.

48) The Dream, "Rockin' That Thang"
This song just gets stuck in my head. Period. I like the synths. And it is always on in my mind. Maybe I am just going soft.

47) GLC ft. Kanye West, "Big Screen"
Speaking of synths, I like the soaring sound Kanye orchestrates on this track. And he actually raps on it. If only he'd done that on, you know, his own album. GLC is a good enough rapper. He's another one who will never really make it but is good for a verse or song or two. This spitting is pretty generic, but the beat really bathes the deliveries well.

46) LL Cool J ft. The Dream, "Baby"
LL's voice remains commanding (), and when it's set over this mid-tempo pop production, it makes him sound fresh. This was another track that just got stuck in my head a lot. And I like the line about cake in the second verse.

45) Kid CuDi, "Day N Nite"
I don't smoke weed with any regularity, but if I did, this is likely what I'd put on while getting high. What a nice little anthem for recreational drug users--spacey, light, easy.

44) Kidz in the Hall ft. Donnis and Chip tha Ripper, "Mr. Alladatshit"
One of those breezy tracks that you love to have on in the car. And a song made even better by the context surrounding it on The In Crowd, a great record (but that's for the albums post). Chip's voice is also pretty perfect for this beat. As is the way he hops on the track.

43) Ghostface Killah, "Ghostface X-Mas"
I just wrote about this song. Only from Ghostace.

42) The Cool Kids, "Action Figures"
So really, this song may have come out last year. It's hard to keep track when dealing with internets hype creations. But I'm including it because, well, it might have come out this year, and I certainly hadn't heard it earlier. I like the Cool Kids. I don't love them. But this tracks captures what they do well--throwback chemistry; a production style that is reminiscent of older hip-hop but has an updated edge; rapping that's slick and witty without being didactic. And they're fun: t-bones on top shelves--the steaks is high!

41) Murs, "I'm Innocent"
At least he's trying. Trying to say something without being a jerk. Trying to make hip-hop that suits his easy way with words. Trying to flip Honey Comb in a way that emits this quiet energy. It works for him.

40) Pete Rock ft. Jim Jones and Max B, "We Roll"
Jim Jones is a crappy rapper. We know this. He, I think, knows this. But still, this soft beat is just awesome. It's the sort of track that might be equally good as an instrumental.

39) AZ ft. Papoose, "Knowledge Is Freedom"
AZ can flow. Straight up. He is a master of assonance, and he's incredibly deft at moving from one chain of sounds to another without any clunky transitions. His breath control on this track, enhanced by studio production or not, is impressive. Really, he's just refreshing. AZ is a rapper's rapper in a lot of ways, and it comes through on this song. Pap is Pap--this over-the-top MC who never moderates his energy or his voice, who is nice but not that nice, and who, also, can really flow. As he, too, does on this track. They both go in (). And ever since "Shakey Dog," this Dells sample is nearly canonical.

38) Maino, "Hi Hater"
The song of New York's summer. Fun, energetic, something that the ladies could also get into. Most of these 15-minutes-of-fame songs can get pretty annoying, but months later, it remains an easy listen. And, as an avowed hater, I was pleased to hear a differing perspective on my lifestyle.

37) The P Brothers ft. Boss Money, "Cold World"
The lazy tempo, the sinister bass, the lonely piano loop. Bleak, grimey New York hip-hop, circa 1995. Period. Only it was made this year.

36) Royce da 5'9", "Watch Me Get This Money"
What a good year for Royce. His own studio album was the weakest part. But this song perfectly showcased his intensity and strong mic presence.

35) Mos Def, "Life in Marvelous Times"
Why hasn't Mos Def been making songs like this for the last decade? If he wants to be musical and smart and different, he could be all those things by making an album filled with this kind of stream-of-consciousness observation and modified poetry. Especially when it's all put over a score that has so many elements melded together to create such an emotionally heightened track. Mos, nice work on this one. Keep it up.

34) Slim ft. Yung Joke, "So Fly"
Oh my god. Every time I was in the car this fall, this song was also there. And it was awesome. Subtly so awesome.

33) Alchemist ft. Blu, Evidence, and Kid CuDi, "Therapy"
I am not a huge Alchemist guy. I think he gets boring. But this song is kind of dope, and I don't think another producer would have thought to make it. It's good that he did. There is a sadness on this track that is very engaging, and that invites introspection akin to what you hear from the MCs.

32) Jay-Z ft. Santogold, "Brooklyn (Go Hard)"
Yeah, you know about this song. My favorite part is the Santogold bridge after the second verse. She's haunting and proud and defiant. That sounds like some corny, annoying Breihan shit, but that's what she brings.

Also, for the record, The Real killed this song:



Can't hear this song without thinking of an organic water store. So good.

31) Busta Rhymes, "Don't Touch Me"
An awesome harnessing of Busta's microphone essence.

And while I'm throwing up YouTube videos...

30) Ruste Juxx ft. Lil' Vic, "Get Up"
Sean P's buddy () explodes () on a track that is a certified banger. Rapping is mediocre, but the beat is unreal. One of the best production pieces of the year.

29) Young Jeezy ft. Kanye West, "Put On"
At first, this track didn't do much for me. Not least of all because Kanye's verse sucks. That sing-song rap and manipulative public mourning were an early sign that his record would be a disaster. But in spite of all that, "Put On" ultimately became a favorite song from 2008 due to the ease with which you could get into it at a club and Jeezy's assertiveness juxtaposed by a slightly manic aesthetic. This is, literally, the first Young Jeezy song I've ever enjoyed.

28) DJ Babu ft. MF Doom and Sean Price, "The Unexpected"
An MF Doom sighting! And, from what I can tell, it's the real deal. More amusing was Sean P getting in on the scattershot fun that Doom usually counts as his exclusive turf.

27) Jake One ft. Little Brother, "Bless the Child"
Now that Little Brother isn't really happening (*tear*), it's easy to forget that Phonte is one of the best rappers in the world. Even on a compilation record, he brings that realness and insight. It's refreshing.

26) Erykah Badu, "Honey"
Everyone loves this song, for good reason. She gets in this funky, easy groove.

25) David Banner ft. Chris Brown and Yung Joke, "Get Like Me"
Best video of the year. Barry Bonds, the Maloofs, that ugly Gucci vest of David's. Oh, and it was awesome to chant along with the chorus.

24) 88-Keys ft. Kanye West, "Stay Up (Viagra)"
There isn't enough intentional humor in hip-hop music, and when it comes along, it's important that we recognize and appreciate it. There are some genuinely funny lines on this track. The beat is jazzy smooth, too, and that was a standout in a year when so much music was synth driven or dedicated to Autotune insanity. It's easy to forget, now, that Kanye was the leader of the chipmunk soul movement back in, like, 2001, and that dude has a great ear for these softer beats.

23) DJ Benzi ft. Wale and Brother Ali, "2nd Time Around"
Brother Ali's verse on this track is just dope: real talk, delivered with lyrical precision and microphone swagger. He makes Wale sound weak by comparison, and while not his finest hour, Wale can rhyme.

22) Statik Selektah ft. Skyzoo, Talib Kweli, and Joell Ortiz, "Talkin' 'bout You (Ladies)"
Lots of good shit here: the cutting, the samples, the steady horn melody, the choral singing. And, of course, the chill love rap. Talib's verse is especially cool, the sort of whimsical reminiscence invited when you're into someone.

21) Ludacris ft. Common and Spike Lee, "Do the Right Thang"
Ludacris is conflicted. He makes records like Chicken-N-Beer that reduce women to commodities, and he makes songs like this, when he flexes his powers of observation and attempts to admonish his community to act right. Common, of course, is always up for that. They both do a good job with it here, though Com's verse is a little stilted. But nonetheless, a soulful, interesting song.

20) The Red Giants ft. Spec Boogie, Che Grand, and Tanya Morgan, "Never Seen a Thing"
Allow us, now, to shine some light on the less-heralded MCs who go to work each day, deliver tight verses, and perpetuate the elements of hip-hop that make rap music so good. Playing with words and sounds, brags and boasts, sample-heavy music--all here. All good.

19) The Roots, "The Show"
Black Thought kind of unloads on his second verse. And it's awesome. This is the kind of dark, ruminative Roots track that has become something of a specialty over the past few albums.

18) Q-Tip, "Gettin' Up"
Great song for a Saturday night.

17) Wale, "The Perfect Plan"
The go-go rhythm and the dense flows can make it easier, at times, to listen to Wale without really hearing him. You can just kind of bob your head along with the music and appreciate how his voice hits the instrumentation. But he actually has some stuff to say--not without ambivalence, of course--and he drops it all over without much fanfare or the kind of self-awareness that can lead to pretension. Makes him better than most other rappers.

16) Killer Mike, "Bang!"
No one destroys a track like Killer Mike when he gets furious and starts to take shots. That's what he does here. I can't begin to count the number of days that I had this on before class so that I could get focused. Yessir!

15) The Knux, "Cappuccino"
The bass line is dope. Dope. The funky melody makes it doper. And the rapping pulls it all together, creating one of the year's most infectious songs.

14) The Game ft. Keyshia Cole, "Game's Pain"
There is a certain class of rap music that can be best described as "Game songs." You hear a track with a solid beat, a tight flow, a little swagger, and an assortment of almost juvenile references, and you just know: this is a Game song. Even if it's not the Game who's rapping. In this case, he is, and this is a quintessential Game song. It's a formula that gets stale, and there are so many perversions of the better Game songs that it's hard to respect the good ones. But this one was among the better.

13) T.I., "I'm Illy"
My biggest surprise this year was how much I enjoyed T.I.'s album. I thought that for a while, he was wildly overrated, and I didn't like the overall sound he was coming with. But then Paper Traildropped and he sounded more mature. He seemed smarter. And the music, itself, was improved. "I'm Illy" might come second on the record, but it is, in effect, an announcement of the change.

12) 88-Keys, "Nice Guys Finish Last"
The beat on this track is just dope. Great energy.

11) Murs, "Better Than the Rest"
First, let's all agree that this song should have been on Murs for President. Second, let's all agree that quality songs came about when an MC sounds so comfortable riding a beat while showing off his wit and humor, all while not taking himself so seriously.

10) Wale ft. Bun B and Pusha T, "Back in the Go Go"
Melodic rap music has never sounded so good outside of a Roots studio. "Go Go" was rejuvenating in some ways: it served to introduce Wale to a wide(r) audience, it gave Bun B and Pusha T a new sound that worked for both, and it presented a musical element that you don't commonly hear from emerging acts. Also one of the livelier, more fun tracks of the year.

9) Nas, "N.I.G.G.E.R. (The Slave and the Master)"
The best song from an underwhelming album. Nas is smart on this record, mining details and pulling together a number of contemporary social issues. His words are given greater heft by the melancholy strings that serve as a haunting frame for this picture of suffering.

8) Kidz in the Hall ft. Black Milk and Guilty Simpson, "Middle of the Map, Pt. 2"
A rollicking good time. The beat is nuts, and Black Milk rips it.

7) The Roots ft. Saigon and Truck North, "Criminal"
Anger sounded really good on this track. There is a stereotype that "meaningful" rap songs, or perhaps "conscious" rap songs, have to encompass lifting people up, hating the government, and whatever else was in vogue among underground MC's back about ten years ago. But that strikes me as unfair--a theme among 2008's angrier, more perceptive songs was an attention to detail and an eschewing of calls for widespread social upheaval. Sometimes it can be more effective to just paint the picture and allow a listener to fill in some gaps.

6) Saigon ft. T-Pain, "Believe It"
This was the best T-Pain appearance of the year, without doubt. But that's secondary. The soaring beat and the dramatic synthesizers of the chorus were almost overpowering, however they were then tempered by the focused Saigon verses--which aspired to be more meaningful than they really were--and the steadily winding bass. Overall, a very enjoyable listening experience.

5) Ne-Yo, "Miss Independent"
Ne-Yo was sort of inescapable in 2008, and this was a key reason why. The melody is great, the synthesizers underneath the singing and the procussion create a fantastic tempo and feel, and the verse orchestration is silky. A truly "listenable" song, one that invited in an audience and gave it a little of everything. The hand claps, too, were a nice touch.

The trite conventions of mainstream culture created a narrative that was largely consumption driven. The woman was a boss, but so much of what made her stand out were her material assets--she owned her own home, she paid her own bills. In some ways, it sold this prototypical woman short, partially casting her strengths merely as the obviating of a need to take from a man. But it nonetheless allowed for the larger sense of a woman in control of herself. One who is confident in her own interests and capabilities, one who holds it all together while doing so with an outward grace and beauty. It was a nice thing to hear a song that allowed for a woman to do more than merely offer sex or take a man's money, and I think this aspect made it especially resonant. "Miss Independent" calls to mind a woman you can respect and appreciate. The sort whose innate abilities and competencies enhance her appeal and make her a complementary equal, not just some accessory.

*gets off soap box*

4) Elzhi ft. T3, "Save Ya"
...And then there's "Save Ya," a clever, well-rapped song with fantastic lines ("You got a figure that can change 'no' to 'maybe'") that is all about the sort of dependent women oft-maligned in hip-hop. Elzhi, another of the game's best MC's, kills this lush, soulful beat. And the song even overcomes T3 saying "unsatiable," which is not actually a word. Not that anyone in hip-hop has cared about that before.

3) Black Milk, "Long Story Short"
The opening song from the year's best rap album (spoiler!). The layered production is great. The spacey drums are equally great. And Black Milk flows for days over all of it.

2) Big Boi ft. Raekwon and Andre 3000, "Royal Flush"
Another song everyone already knows all about, replete with a standout social lecture from uncle Andre.

1) Elzhi ft. Royce da 5'9", "Motown 25"
It took me half a listen to realize this song would be the best of the year. The drums are powerful. The melody is staggering. Black Milk *really* laced this joint. And the rapping--Jesu Christo! Elzhi and Royce abuse this track, unleashing a focused verbal fury that is not common. Detroit wins.

Albums list going up soon. As will a rundown of the visual media I consume.

 

All Breakups Should Be This Sweet

To be honest, it was inauspicious, at first. I was surrounded by cigarette smokers, people with ugly tattoos, New Jersey's finest fake thugs (who must have been lost), women wearing smedium dresses and tops without irony (not a good look), and children who certainly did not look as though they'd been living for the requisite eighteen years. There were a few of us, the normal, grown and sexy hip-hop connoisseurs. But this was, in effect, a perfect storm of trashiness: a general-interest hip-hop show + a casino concert venue + Atlantic City, among the handful of America's worst places (like South Bend, IN and East St. Louis, IL).

I wasn't in a good mood. Not a particularly bad mood, but I was somewhat agitated. I didn't care for the surroundings. And were that not enough, it felt like I was attending a funeral, partially because that's how I had billed it in my mind and among my friends. This was going to be a farewell, a sad moment of resignation when a new reality set in and the past was laid down. It was going to be a night of melancholy.

But then the show started and the excitement set in. The adrenaline got going, pumping faster and faster as Tuba Gooding, Jr. worked the sousaphone. "Thought@Work" came into sonic focus as a smile crept across my face. Then the band came in as my head began to nod. Before I knew it, I was rapping along with Black Thought and a spectacular evening was underway. I was no longer concerned about my surroundings; I was so pleased to again be rocking with the best.

On the night before New Year's Eve, in Atlantic City, I saw the Roots, at the House of Blues, for what was likely the last time for a long time. They'll cut back on their touring schedule to accommodate Jimmy Fallon's abortion of a show, I'll be living in St. Louis, and that will be that. It's kind of like living in exile, waiting for a return that is indefinite. (Like Nixon anticipating a return to Washington while out in California.) It's sad for me. I love the Roots (), and I really love a Roots concert. However, should this come to pass, and should my life become largely bereft of the evenings with the Legendary, we could not have parted ways on better terms.

Quite simply, the Roots closed out 2008 in spectacular fashion. For two-and-a-half hours, they created a display of musicianship that exceeded even their own lofty standard. It left me, a sometimes jaded fan who has now seen them something like 20 or 25 times, deeply satisfied (). Not only did they run through a set that showcased their underappreciated, spectacular catalogue, but they exuded a command of their craft and a joy in performing that left the crowd awed and enthused. ?uestlove and Knuckles tore through a call-and-response set on their drum kits. Captain Kirk played guitar as though he were Mike McCready channeling Jimi Hendrix. And that only was when he wasn't making his guitar speak in ways that were reminiscent of Franklin Frampton Comes Alive. Brass Heaven did their James Brown thing. Thought, after hours of rapping, mustered the energy and breath control to faithfully recreate "Men at Work" at the end of the night. All dazzling.

Beyond the innate value of the performance--one that was so rich in music, so appreciative of hip-hop, and so happily put on, even featuring covers ranging from "Pop Champagne" to "Sweet Child o' Mine"--this night in AC, this parting of ways, was a celebration of a career spent on the road reinventing the conventions of hip-hop performance. I have written about this before, but it warrants repeating: a Roots show is like nothing else in rap music. It is the best of the genre, infusing the beats and rhymes with a musical dexterity and abiding love of the culture that emphasize the product while making it something greater. Hip-hop is not just those foundational elements when the Roots perform. It suddenly means more--it becomes a certain awareness, a certain throughtfulness, a certain rigor. It is fitting that Illadelph Halflife and Things Fall Apart begin with such a memorable, ironic quotation--"Inevitably hip-hop records are treated as though they are disposable. They're not maximized as product, even. You know, not to mention as art"--because no rap act has done more, particularly through its signature live shows, to directly contradict such a sentiment. A Roots show is a trip to the best museum imaginable. And it's one that has been built over fifteen years and thousands of shows.

December 30th, 2008 will serve as a fitting lasting image, one that accentuated the best of the Roots, and, sadly, will stand as a reminder of what's been surrendered to a no-talent ass clown. But even that galling truth--she chose the douche bag?!--does not detract from what was a special evening. In this way, the AC show was an ideal break up: the reality was inescapable, but the sadness was tempered by a full appreciation for all of the good times, and the knowledge that we were all walking away made better by the relationship.

In the Age of the Interwebs, No Idea Is Safe

Thanks to Busta, we now have "Hebrew Money." Oy.

(HT: HHIR)