Get Ready for Knicks Basketball!

Prospective GM's, get him now! Only owed $10.5m this year and $11m+ next! (via)

This caught my eye today:

Eddy Curry won't be with the team as the regular season begins. The Knicks still have him working on his own to cut down more weight and get him able to be able to play at the speed the Knicks want him to play without getting hurt. It seems pretty obvious the franchise views Curry as too critical a piece to just give up on him. But I wonder how much longer this goes on before they push him into the lineup just to get him on the court and showcase him for teams searching for a center.

As we said before, the reason the Knicks are going with just 13 players on the 15-man roster (Cuttino Mobley will be waived in November) is more than just about saving luxury tax money. The open spots allow for a two-for-one, which may be one way to move Curry's contract.

Hmmm. So...

[Mike D'Antoni walks into Donnie Walsh's office, closes door.]

D'Antoni: Donnie, you wanted to see me?

Walsh: Yeah, thanks, Mike. How was practice? How's Gallo looking?

D'Antoni: Practice was alright. We used a new defense drill today which I liked. We had Al Harrington and David down low on opposite sides of the lane. We had Duhon and Wil out on the wings and Jared somewhere around the free throw line. The goal was for our big men to compete better on defense. So the task was simple, but the thing was effective all the same--anyone who penetrated had to be met at the rim with an air kiss. First big to dole out 15 won and got to shoot threes on any 20 subsequent offensive possessions he chose. Really enlivened things and showed the fellas what our defensive mentality is all about.

Walsh: [nervously] Heh, yeah. Sounds great. Seven seconds or less, right? And Danilo?

D'Antoni: Oh, man, he was doing some things I couldn't believe. Before we started running our scrimmage, he hit one off the floor, off the scoreboard, off the bank board, off of Jesus, through God's nostrils, around James Naismith's grave, no rim. I tell ya--Donnie, he's the best shooter I've ever seen.

Walsh: Yeah. I know. You've said that. When you first mentioned it to me--that you thought he was the best shooter of all time--I wasn't sure I'd heard you correctly. You know, it was muffled since you were standing behind him and reaching around. But you just keep on about it, so I guess you mean it, preseason evidence be damned. I just hope he doesn't run into Tractor Traylor this year and cripple himself again. I especially hope he doesn't run into Dwight Howard. If he fell apart by colliding with a pillow whose nose and neck were simultaneously eating his head, imagine what would happen if he hit a brick wall.

Anyway, it's funny that we're talking about Robert because I called you up here to check in about Eddy. How's he looking?

D'Antoni: Like a fucking fat ass. I know I can't say that to his face or the media, but that's how he's looking. He can't play yet. Fuck, I don't even want to take him to Miami this week.

Walsh: Because of morale? The partying on South Beach?

D'Antoni. I'm just not sure that the plane could handle it.

Walsh: That bad? Hasn't he been on a workout plan for months? Well, we gotta get him firmed up. He has to be moved. Has. To. Be. We have too much riding on next offseason to let his contract weigh us down.

D'Antoni: Ha! You said, "Weigh us down." I'm rubbing off on you, Donnie. I like that.



Walsh: Be that as it may, you need to get his ass in shape. You think LeBron is coming here to watch someone eat his feelings? For that matter, tell Danny to pick it up, too. I mean, you tell me, Mike, what's more attractive? Charting a future with a real center, like Brook Lopez; charting a future with a real scorer, like Eric Gordon; or charting a future with a metrosexual from Italy who gets hurt thinking about contact? Because Options A and B were there for us. We could have had Anthony Randolph, even!

D'Antoni: Look Donnie, with all due respect, you're out of your depth here. Danilo is the best shooter I'VE EVER SEEN. EVER. Leave him be.

As for Eddy, we're workin' him. Just yesterday, I hired one of those Chinese-food delivery guys to ride his bike around the gym with a freshly baked pie strapped to the back. You don't think Eddy sprinted when he saw that? He'll get his weight down. It won't be all Oliver Miller all the time much longer.

Walsh: Alright. Get this done. I need to go speak with James, who sent me an email this morning saying that MSG Network is launching a new show called the Lord Zeke Rumor Mill. If it's what I think it is, we don't need that.

D'Antoni: Zeke?

Walsh: He still uses James's private elevator. Anyway, get it done with Curry.

D'Antoni: Alright. We'll plug away at them.

Walsh: Them? What's them?

D'Antoni: Them--Eddy, his ass cheeks, and his fat face. I refer to Eddy in the plural. Seems to work. Actually, good thing I gotcha here--we're only gonna play, like, eight or nine guys. How about you leave open a few extra roster spots so that I can tell Eddy he's so fat, we can't even carry a full complement of players. Would really back me up.

Walsh: Not funny. See ya, Mike.