With a Little Bit of Gold and a Pager

Really, Joe? Really? You just committed your cap space to Ben Gordon and Charlie Villanueva? You turned Rasheed's expiring contract and Chauncey Billups into an embarrassing first-round flameout, a streaky and undersized sixth-man, and a mercurial forward who gets hurt fairly often? You took a team that as recently as two years ago was a decent rebounder and another guard away from the Finals and turned it into one that probably can't hope to be any better than seventh in the East? Your second-highest-paid player plays the same position as your highest? The same highest-paid guy who shouldn't have such an onerous deal in the first place?

And you're going to hire a retread coach to polish up such worthless scrap metal? You went from league elite to miserably mediocre in two seasons? As you look up at teams led by so many players you passed on? I know it wasn't wholly predictable, but still, that was the karmic tipping point. It's been almost all bad since then, hasn't it?

The fuck?

Sorry to say it, Joey, but you need to update your resume, because you played yourself worse than Jay on "DOA."