7.31.2008

Ron Artest Is Stupid and Funny




Thus spoke Ronathustra:

"I understand what Yao said, but I'm still ghetto...That's not going to change. I'm never going to change my culture. Yao has played with a lot of black players, but I don't think he's ever played with a black player that really represents his culture as much as I represent my culture. Once Yao Ming gets to know me, he'll understand what I'm about...If you go back to the brawl, that's a culture issue right there...Somebody was disrespecting me, so he's got to understand where I'm coming from. People that know me know that Ron Artest never changed."

[Serious] So obviously, to elevate and equate punching a fan with representing some kind of monolithic black culture is insane, and the notion of having "never changed" smacks of self-defeatism on some level. [/Serious]

[Goofy] I love Ron Artest. He is hilarious. [/Goofy]

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7.30.2008

Is It Too Late to Move to Houston?


Well, business just picked up.

Wow.

I don't even know what to write. I just talked to my dad while in a state of moderate hysteria as we contemplated both Ron joining TMac and Ron playing with Skip. Now they just need a few Riverside Hawks.

I don't think Artest is the championship piece Houston has been missing (watch it with those first-round jokes) but I can't think of a team I'll enjoy following more than I will Houston. TMac and Ron! That's like if Michigan football signed the Roots and won a national championship with ?uestlove at quarterback.

On a day when I couldn't stop chuckling about the fact that the Knicks had to pay some team to take Renaldo Balkman, I get an actual reason, devoid of condescension, to smile. Fuck yes.

Training camps open in about two months!

UPDATE: Smart take by Shoals, as usual, in connecting the common threads that will now unite TMac and Ron Ron.

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Sometimes Laughter Is the Only Medicine


An accurate rendering.

You know what? I am beyond the justified, righteous indignation that Bill Kristol's New York Times columns regularly summon. I just can't do anything but laugh at this point. He's such a hopeless ninny. No matter how many times it is pointed out that Kristol's writing is nothing more than smug, largely idiotic, self-indulgent waste; no matter how often it is dissected and shown to be intellectually lazy and worthless, the Times will keep publishing his ramblings. It's gotten to be so embarrassing that it's kind of a joke.

So write on, Bill, and publish on, Times. I'll just keep laughing with contempt and frustration until this horrible moment in history has passed.

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Dope


I have nothing to say about the GZA right now. I just wanted to throw up a very cool poster. Thanks to Eskay for the heads up.

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7.29.2008

Sometimes I Feel Old and Ill-Informed


Already a better dancer than Beyonce.

I first saw the above video on i discovered ne-yo. I then chatted with my sister about it, and she informed me that it was posted in response to an ongoing YouTubes "feud" between the ACDC, a dance crew run by that Asian guy who makes hip-hop dance movies and his teenage dance friend with shitty hair, and the M&M Cru, which, from what I can tell, is a bunch of less-talented assholes who are friends with Miley Cyrus and some loser dance associate of hers. You can see the whole "battle" unfold by watching videos here. Samples are posted below:





This is all invites a few questions:

1) What the fuck?! Seriously. Who knew this was going on? Who is the audience? Or am I just that far removed from the tween mainstream?

2) When did this dance crew phenomenon become an accepted part of everyday life? I don't know any dance crews. Nor do I know anyone who's in a dance crew. I don't think most of my friends even have very good rhythm. I am aware of the MTV program that showcases some inferior wannabes, but is this stylish, attitude-loaded dancing what middle-school and high-school kids are doing these days? Shouldn't the people in these videos have jobs? No wonder our economy stinks.

3) On a scale from 1 to Makes Me Want to Kill Myself, how embarrassing and cringe-inducing are Miley Cyrus and her band of doofuses? That person is one of America's best-known stars? Her shit looks bushleague.

4) Miley Cyrus is 15. Her also-ran hanger-on friend is 20. Shouldn't this woman, like, get some friends her own age? Those are five pretty significant years.

5) How much money has been pumped into these things? A helicopter?!

And for the record: the ACDC people can really dance. Odd trend aside, they're impressive.

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Rick Ross Meets the Real



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7.28.2008

America Takes an L


Ah yes, back when America was teh awesome.

I don't think it's much of a stretch for anyone, regardless of partisanship, to see that the United States' place in the world has significantly declined recently.

This country is uncomfortably embroiled in the ongoing reconstruction of Iraq, a process that has followed an invasion that was unwarranted and based upon either lies (what I'd consider to be the truth) or, more generously, horrible misinformation and grave miscalculation. As a result, the U.S. now has fewer allies; a military stretched beyond its ability to successfully manage its engagements; and a horrible deficit that comes along with the damning opportunity costs of neglected schools, crumbling infrastructure, and a byzantine health care system that is increasingly unsustainable. Al-Qaeda may have been diminished, but terrorist plots and radical Islam remain looming threats only exacerbated by the United States' discredited reputation and suddenly limited means.

"Unsustainable" is how an objective observer might also describe America's energy program--which largely consists of burning oil and hoping that private industry will bail us out--and its environmental practices, which have contributed to soaring carbon emissions and a scientific consensus that the planet is under a nearly cataclysmic assault.

The American financial system has also faltered. An
economy driven by state-sanctioned home ownership and the myth that all real estate forever gains value has imploded as risky mortgages, junk securities, faulty regulation, globalization pressure and insufficient capital have coalesced into a recession that's brought with it rising unemployment, falling equity, and shaken market confidence. The U.S. is now losing jobs month by month, and people are left with less money to pay for ever more expensive things. And that synopsis of course neglects problems like critical institutions defaulting as investors realize that these organizations don't have the capital necessary to support debt obligations that are suddenly far more serious than anyone thought possible; problems like owning trillions of dollars in debt, backing it with just $81 billion, and arriving at the glass case only to find it already long broken.

This is an odd way to frame a basketball discussion, but Josh Childress's decision to decamp to Greece struck me as more of the same in its own way, another part of a recurring narrative that's never been far from most of my recent conversations: America is over.

That's not a new conceit; surely, it's been written before, either explicitly or in many other ways. Anyone who reads the news should be able to see it. The time following the fall of the U.S.S.R. when America was "the lone superpower" that filled a leadership void and gave shape to so many affairs is coming to an end. This is now a world in which resource-rich developing nations have taken on new prestige, China will emerge as the world's key economy, and states like India and Brazil will deserve treatment heretofore reserved for countries that led the way out of World War II. But all of this neglects a crucial dimension of the American story, because unlike Great Britain, the United States was not an empire marked solely by wealth or boundaries easily traced on a map. Beyond resources and population growth, aside from America's diminished sphere of influence and dire economic circumstance, the real sign that the United States' time has past may be that American cultural hegemony--aided by the rapid growth of mass, global communication--is failing. Basketball, long a citadel of American preeminence, may have sustained irreparable structural damage. That is what the Childress saga has most vividly suggested to me.

So far, much discussion has rightly focused on how Childress will impact the mechanics of organizing basketball competition. I don't think the conjecture is misguided, but it's certainly just that. No one knows what this means--or, really, if it means. We have to wait and see. Childress could be the first of many, or he could be a well-compensated, less-crazy Lloyd Daniels. Taken in tandem with Brandon Jennings eschewing college basketball for a one-year stint in the pergutorio of the Italian lig, Josh's European daliance could augur for a new basketball era in which the means of productions (the players) seamlessly travel across borders, democratizing competition. Those inclined to build this case--
that the leveling process has accellerated--using Childress's departure as a proof point also could surely lean on the United States' shameful performances in the past two international basketball competitions. In sum, it all might argue that the vision of global basketball is rapidly reaching fruition, that "world champions" is a designation that may soon lose the presumptuous air Americans have created around it.

To a jingoistic sports narcissist like me, one whose primary instinct is to dismiss such a notion, that's a nearly unfathomable scenario. Sure, futbol is better elsewhere. And yes, there are great sprinters and hockey players and gymmnasts and all manner of athlete around the globe. But basketball? That's an American game regularly elevated on these shores. Further, I see Argentinian gold medals and I reflexively dwell on America's correctable basketball frailties (shoot better). I observe losses in the international arena and I find shelter underneath irregularities like trapezoidal lanes, junk defenses, officials that hate Tim Duncan, and the malaise with which U.S. players approach non-NBA competition. I read about the international invasion but I quickly remember that Yao Ming can't move or stay healthy, Dirk is a pussy, and the Euro-loving Lakers couldn't defend or play as tough as Yankees like the Celtics. Steve Nash is a novelty player, Biedrins is overpaid, and so forth.

American players, collectively, remain superior to their international counterparts. Similarly, NBA competition is superior to that in other leagues. More importantly, in a larger sense, the culture of basketball--everything from the on-court style, to the technique, to the fashion, to the confluence with music, to the language of the sport--is distinctly American. If you'll recall the brilliant essay about sports and international systems that Matt Yglesias contributed to FD some time ago, basketball was cited as quintessentially American, truly our greatest sport, because its spread and practice embody our values. Basketball, Yglesias argued, is America, in essence.

And that's why Josh Childress may be another ominous sign of impending doom for the U.S. Never before has an able-bodied contributor opted to leave America in order to play basketball. No one has spurned the Lig like that; to do so, to turn one's back on the highest form of an American original, is tantamount to cultural treason. The NBA is a destination, not an option. Coca-Cola, Disney, Michael Jackson, action movies, the NBA, and all of that.
That's how it has been, and I always assumed that's how it would remain. At least, until it simply wasn't. I just never thought that time would come so soon. But it may have.

Childress is going to take home more money in Europe than he may have earned in the U.S. However, he would have been paid in America. Moreover, this is a cultured, smart guy, the sort of player of whom we might assume that the lure of the greatest competition would more than compensate for some relatively small difference in salary. Yet he's absconded, turning his back on what is still considered to be the finest venue in which an American cultural tradition is preserved and augmented. Playing in the the NBA, in America, just wasn't enough of a draw. What does that say about the United States?

The story of international basketball has always been that the NBA leads the game forward, evangelizing those whom it encounters yet never relinquishing control. Childress's departure challenges what we've known because it suggests that Americans are no longer arbiters of the sport; that a defining cultural export can now be produced elsewhere. And should a new order indeed be emerging in its nascent stages, America's basketball preeminence may no longer be assumed. That, like the economy, may be one more sign that our society is now sliding down the wrong side of the bell curve that maps a nation's success.

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Under Renovation

A quick glance down the left-hand side of this site may yield the following discoveries:

1) The BlogPoll Voters Are Gone. Indeed. My college-football blogging has waned over the past year, and with it went my membership in the BlogPoll. I got dropped as a voter earlier this month. Ironically, I intend to write much more about Michigan football this season and in the future, as I will no longer sound like a (validated) broken record, what with bummy-ass Lloyd Carr gone off into the sunset. The Roch Rodriguez Era brings with it uncertainty and, I'd imagine, many new topics to consider. The BlogPoll decision coincided with my desire to clean up the sidebar, though, and links to so many college-football bloggers were a sad casualty. However, please read nothing else into it. My tenure ends with no hard feelings, and I suspect that the excellent dialogue held among those sites will provide fodder for discussion here as the fall approaches and unfolds.

2) There's a New Mobile Section. Indeed. I am tinkering with a mobile version of this website so that the Bangin' can be enjoyed on internets phones. It may be a work in progress for a little bit, but that should be up and running soon. The URL is: straightbangin.mofuse.mobi. As a result, I've moved notice of this new feature, and some other ways to follow SB, up in the sidebar order. But please, continue to scroll down. Lots of nice sites to check out. And, as always, all of that hype, both Ball and Show.

This reminds me: I will soon be reviewing the blogroll to make sure everything still checks out. If you've updated your URL, if you've stopped blogging, if you'd like to get linked, please shoot me a note so that I can make the appropriate changes.

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7.27.2008

Bert and Ernie Get Gully

This has likely been around, but I just saw it tonight:



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7.25.2008

Vacation

I've been in god-awful Boston for the past few days visiting some friends before I leave these Eastern shores. And my traveling continues through Sunday. Bangin' gets properly update then. We have to talk about Josh Childress (!), Michigan football (only 37 days away), and some other things.

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7.22.2008

Ignorant Shit


Snitches get stitches. And neck beards.

What was it that Jay-Z said?
They're all actors, lookin' at themselves in the mirror backwards
Can't even face themself, don't fear no rappers
They're all, weirdos, DeNiros in practice
So, don't believe everything your earlobe captures
It's mostly backwards, unless it happens to be as accurate as me
And everything said in song, you happen to see
Then, actually, believe half of what you see
Right.

Rowss!

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7.18.2008

So Serious



WOW.

This shit is not just the best movie of the year, and it's not just the best superhero movie ever, but it might be among my all-time favorites. I cannot rave about this movie enough. It needs its own category at the Academy Awards going forward. Holy shit. I am seeing it again tomorrow. And by "tomorrow" I mean "again later today."

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7.17.2008

Nas Is a Demagogue


A little information is dangerous...

One of the conflicting elements of the new Nas album, Untitled, is that, for pretty much the whole record, he raps as you always hope that he might. And when I write "rap," I mean just that. Beats, content--forget those components of hip-hop music for a moment. Instead, just consider the craft of a rapper, constructing and delivering rhymes that exploit assonance, tempo, the interaction of syllables, the way that consonants and vowels hit your ears, cadence, and so forth to stitch together this stylized recitation of verse. If you assess Untitled with those narrowed parameters, it certainly stands out from the milieu of contemporary hip-hop, and it
comes as close to delivering on the promise of Illmatic as only a special few Nas projects have (Lost Tapes comes to mind).

You can hear it right away:
...Niggas is still hating
Talking that Nas done fell off with rhyming
He'd rather floss with diamonds
They pray "please God let him spit that Uzi in the army line 'n
That shorty doo-wop rolling oo-wop in the park reclining"
Take 27 emcee's put them in a line and they're out of alignment
my assignment since he said retirement
hiding behind 8 Mile and The Chronic
Gets rich but dies rhyming
This is hot science
Now add 23 more from Queens to B-more
I've over their heads
Like a bulimic on a seesaw
Now that's 50 porch monkeys ate up at the same time
Nasty Nasdaq
Y'all going to bow holmes, it's Dow Jones
.80 cal chrome
Needed time alone to zone
The mack left his iPhone and his 9 at home...
Nas dances through the rhymes, gracefully gliding from couplets to pauses to purposely similar constructions, speeding up and slowing down to separate ideas, to evoke emotion as his words deem necessary. Not every flow spit on Untitled is as dense as that from "Queens Get the Money," but in total, it's an album of carefully executed rapping. Even when Nas gives his words more room to breathe, as he does on, er, "Breathe," a listener is still witness to a precision work of spitting. And with fewer throwaway bars than we've heard on recent Nas fare; without leaning on crutches like repeating rhymes in succession; without that easy but nonsensical wordplay that can pass for skills, Untitled is a return to form for a guy who so often works so hard to be something else. It's oddly refreshing that his rapping overcomes whatever calculations he may have made to the contrary.

That Nas has recaptured his form as an MC is conflicting, though, because Untitled is, of course, not about rapping. That piece of it is almost obscured, and it's unfortunate that a fine demonstration of his talent takes a backseat. Untitled is about controversy and having a message. At least, that's what Nas would probably tell you.
It's supposed to be about those things, and therein lies one of Untitled's primary problems, because really, this album is about Nas and his latest culturally tone deaf, didactic crusade.

Nas is not a hero. He's not a revolutionary, he's not a savior, and he's not a leader. He's a moderately educated rapper who grew up in poverty, picks shitty beats, has a gift with words, and is content to use his gift while adhering to the conventions of the music industry in the name of accruing wealth. That's why he has so transparently experimented with production styles and the focus of his rhymes over his career; the guy wants to be rich and famous, and he is willing to do what he thinks he must. Nas has basically said as much. He may be a poet in the minds of some, but that distinction carries with it nothing noble when assessing a man whose highest calling appears to be nice cars, extravagant nights out, and an occasional spewing of empty rhetoric about social justice.

But I ain't mad at Nas--I think that when he's at his best, few can rap as well, and I don't expect for him to be the next Martin Luther King. If he made ten albums that sounded like Illmatic, I would probably like that. His failures come when he purports to be something that he isn't, and that is a crippling reality on Untitled. Contrary to what he'd like you to think, and what some may have decided upon listening to Untitled, he is not the enlightened vessel who carries with him a cogent message about America's racial climate. Rather, above all else, Nas is a demagogue.

Untitled contains lyrics that catalogue: the oppression experienced by blacks in America throughout history; the undermining habits and values of impoverished black folks; the absence of positive, professional role models in poor African-American communities; American exploitation and cooptation of black culture. Further, Nas ruminates about double standards held for blacks among the police, among the denizens of the capitalist music system, and among his own people, who both resent unfair treatment but are simultaneously hostile to success that too closely resembles acquiescing to mainstream white standards. He smartly hones in on the commonality in destructive values of a nation that used to purposely separate black families and today executes people at a clip that few other nation's can match (as though they'd want to boast about it). It's a loaded album, and I mean that as a compliment.

Nas unapologetically dwells on complicated, resonant subjects. They are thought provoking. I listened to this album in a state of mild confusion the first three times I heard it because I had a hard time keeping track of the many thoughts that were piling up on top of each other. It was an experience for which I was thankful. It was energizing.

But having worked a listener up, Nas then does what Nas seems to always do: he leaves you disappointed. Rather than offering unique insight or adding a distinct, coherent voice of observation--to say nothing of proposing solutions, but again, that's probably not fair or realistic to demand of most people, let alone rapper Nasir Jones--Nas ultimately fails to advance the racial dialogue and never comes close to capitalizing on the righteous indignation that many of his subjects engender. He instead falls back on hackneyed notions of success and his vague ideas about wresting back power for his people. It makes for an almost infuriating experience given the gravitas and deliberation that was intended to inform the subject matter. And I will rue this record should it excuse real consideration of these challenging subjects. There need not be anything nerdy or uncool about a meaningful rap album, and Nas appears to have been too scared to make one or, more likely, just not smart enough.

In some ways, the substance of Untitled lends itself to mockery. Defiantly, Nas conflates equality and progress with the trite trappings of the hip-hop dream: money, cars, clothes, and women. There really seems to be little else that Nas views as an end toward which he or anyone else should be working. He pays lip service to higer notions, like reclaiming the legacy of African scholarship, but the details of those plans are sparse. But getting rich--that's something he can talk about forever.

On "Hero," he plays the role of martyr and champion, yet the chorus boasts of his "chain gleaming" and lane changing in a two-seater (likely an expensive one), while his first verse opens with an acknowledgment of his Maybach and women, his Benz, and his prodigious shopping (blow your nose with some ice!). He goes on to fantasize about exotic destinations and exclusive wine cellars. In the preceding song, "Make the World Go Round," he gives context for this appetite for opulence by fleetingly reminiscing about times when he had little. It's a narrative frame that might explain the shape his desires take. But to make a record whose album cover directly recalls slavery, whose original title was to be the single most racially inflammatory word in our language, whose content is predominantly focused on large-scale social problems, and to then net out at owning nice cars? The ambitions and ideas for achievement come off as those of a simple, small man.

It gets worse. Nas further undermines his credibility as a social commentator by affecting the attitude of an outsider on "Testify." He raps:
...Little rap fans that live way out in safe suburbia
Would you stand with me, a United States murderer
Huh?
Would you testify?
You buy my songs/You buy my songs, but would you ride with me?
You understand my struggle/That's what you claim, right?
Well get your aim right
And get your game tight
Don't buy my songs, y'all don't roll with it
Coming to concerts, saying ho and shit...
In the abstract, that might be admirable. Right? I mean, he calls a spade a spade, noting the record-buying (or downloding, as he goes on to mourn) hip-hop fan base is predominantly not living the lives and experiences, mostly born of poverty and poor education, depicted in song. And he goes on to challenge these loyalists, questioning if their professions of empathy would translate into action. It carries with it the not-so-subtle message that for many suburban (read: white) fans, there is safety in confining contact with black America, especially poor black America, to records. And in perpetuating a system of de facto inequality. That would be a new iteration of an old but not tired theme that this nation has not reconciled. But, of course, you hear the rest of the album and wonder if Nas is sincere in his vituperation or if, really, he just kind of wishes he had skipped QB and started out in a McMansion. Further, this is a man who has profited from the prevailing social and economic system he impugns, so it's not as though this is a true outsider. Nas is instead posturing, something that has long been his way to deflect criticism and maintain a synthetic identity as a gadfly. It's incredibly cynical.

Similarly, there is also the startling contradiction that comes from a record that lionizes Louis Farrakhan but later says that we must end all forms of intolerance. Just as it's depressing to hear Nas say that the time of Martin Luther King, Jr. and other social progressives has passed, leaving Nas and others to carry that mantle all the way...to the Porsche dealer.

An explanation for all of Nas's underwhelming sociopolitical ideology may be found on "Y'All My Niggas," though. It's easily the most confounding song on the record, and it seems to be simultaneously a work of almost incomprehensible genius and a manifestation of Nas's own unresolved, internal conflictedness.

Does the first verse argue that the Civil Rights Movement fell short, and that real progress has been made thanks to hip-hop? Does it tacitly thank black leaders for allowing someone like Nas to succeed upon assuming a leadership role?
Does it argue that the word "nigger" and its popularization has made hip-hop culture more popular and, subsequently, given blacks another avenue of economic viability?

What about the second verse? Does Nas appreciate that acting "niggerish" means getting 26-inch rims? Does he resent that to maintain credibility, he must do so? If so, doesn't that contradict some of his values? Does he think it's good or bad that African-Americans use the n-word, as colonists did?

The third verse seems to argue that from the battlefield of struggle, black people took back the n-word as part of a healing process that has persisted today, and that the n-word now captures an ineffable coolness that others have, no doubt ironically, come to envy. It connects to a much larger discussion about the n-word, but Nas, through his chorus, comes down firmly in the camp of those who believe that the n-word's contemporary use carries a power of convalescence:
"Try to erase me from y'all memory/Too late/I'm engraved in history--I'm here, my niggas!/Speak my name and breath life in me/Make sure y'all never forget me--y'all give me life!/'Cuz y'all use my name so reckless/Whether to be accepted or disrespected--and I love it!/And I love it/Especially when I do it in public/And I'm the subject."
Again, it invites a more involved consideration of the n-word, but it's a track on which Nas seems to tie together so many of his own thoughts. It results in something of a jumble, but that is apt for the album, which is, itself, a substantive mess. Apt for an album that readily calls out common tropes from the larger racial discourse but then struggles to make sense or contribute a new idea.

Content aside, another problem common to Untitled and so many other Nas records is that the production is wildly average, with few great songs, too many clunky beats that Nas's rapping has to save, and little sonic cohesion. The best song is "N.I.G.G.E.R. (The Slave and the Master)." Musically, this is less of an album and more like fifteen rap essays, Nas's Compiled Musings on Race. That could have been the title, actually. It would have been less grandiose in some ways, it would have mitigated the disappointment that is inherent upon hearing a ballyhooed work of pedestrian intellect, and it might have best described this flawed, intriguing rapper's rapper.

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7.16.2008

Billy Packer's Tyranny Has Ended. That Should Be the Story.


Some classic Packer. Not a sports fan? But you always seem so enthused. Weird.

So let's just come out and say it: Billy Packer will not be missed. He is a crotchety asshole whose basketball broadcasts too often were joyless exercises in petty criticism and fan infuriation. Unquestionably, he understood his subjects, but how sad is the rest of the "analyst" profession that CBS and other media impresarios happily paid such a high price for Packer's basketball ruminations? (To say nothing of the fact that he got plenty of stuff wrong--names, sequences of events, what should have been called, the entire Gerald Henderson fiasco--and never apologized or accepted badgering for it.) And yes, the Bangin' has not been silent on this matter; I am one whose opinion of Packer is firmly established.

I waited a few days to mention this serenditpitous happening because I was interested in how Packer's media brethren would send him off. Agenda-setting outlets and writers usually don't criticize their own as openly as is deserved. And over the years, despite impassioned fan protest to the contrary, many writers had lionized Packer as an avatar in his field. When contrasted with Dick Vitale's substanceless, discursive cheerleading or Digger Phelp's broken English and low-level dimentia, it seemed reasonable enough
to acknowledge Packer's superior analytical ability. (Though Packer never served as an observer for Cambodian elections. Tielight that!) But it also always seemed to neglect reality in full, and it never captured the deep loathing common among so many fans.

Thus, reading the mainstream media's sendoff has been somewhat gratifying. As expected, the institutions of record have been disappointingly hunkeydorey in their treatment of Billy's retirement. Reading some of these stories, one gets the impression that college basketball has lost a cherished contributor whose insight and careful consideration of the game far outweighed whatever forgivable shortcomings occasionally presented themselves. Says an apologetic and impressed Michael Wilbon:
I'd gladly put up with all of Packer's agendas and his affiliations because when he sat to call a game he threw himself into it and made the experience better for anybody who cared about the game, if less so the three-ring circus that has come to surround college basketball.
The New York Times' Richard Sandomir brushed over the "occasionally controversial" Packer's missteps and focused on the transactional nature of the news: Packer out, Kellogg in, Anthony waiting. USA Today was more in-depth, though I learned more about Packer's absolutely insane personal life than his legacy as a broadcaster. (A Psychic? No typing or interwebs? Is this Billy Packer or John McCain?) Only Diane Pucin of the LA Times hit us with some truth.

But things got really good when I read more. The local press--writers who likely don't know Packer, don't harbor realistic hopes of one day landing on network television, and don't have the same fealty to media overlords--went to work on Packer. The Philadelphia Daily News; the Cleveland County (NC) Star; the Arkansas Democrat Gazzette. How good does it feel to finally see someone write what so many fans have felt for a long time? Awful Announcing wrote this satisfying summary of Packer's awfulness more than a year ago, and it finally is time for more media folks to accept what had become evident to so many fans who aren't distracted by the milieu of professional journalism and the lure of fame: Packer was boorish and ruined the experience. No amount of technical insight should excuse that stark bottom line.

As King Kaufman noted, "It's hard to think of another sports broadcasting figure of Packer's stature and tenure who's inspired as little affection as he has." Maybe that should have been instructive for CBS and Packer's loyalist long ago. Good riddance to Billy Packer. He will not be missed.

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Hot New Site (I Hope)

After years as a sporadically contributing guest to Straight Bangin', my sister--a newly minted college graduate with lots of free time and an almost frightening obsession with pop music--has launched a blog. Appropriately, its title is derived from one of her singular distinctions: she is the person who discovered Ne-Yo. Thus:

i discovered ne-yo.

I imagine that the site will evolve into not just a repository for all-things Ne-Yo, but also a daily exploration of popular culture, fueled by the insatiable pop appetite that has compelled her to cry when Backstreet Boys videos debuted and create annual television charts to map out her viewing schedule.

Don't even get her started on Chris Brown.

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More Realness

At the Wale show, these dudes got a shout out from the stage, and they were polying (how does one really write that out?I think I'd prefer "poli'ing") with everyone. They are gonna blow up soon, and you shouldn't be surprised when it happens. I mean, they are likely only a phone call away from getting one of Lil' Wayne's amazing guest verses on a remix video or something.



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7.14.2008

Catching up on the Rap


Doin' it for the capital a little too much, I'd say.

Feels like it's been a minute since I wrote about hip-hop to any great length. That will change this week. (Though, in my defense, hip-hop has sucked so far this year, so it hasn't really been all that inspirational.) Tomorrow, we'll go in hard and consider the new Nas album. Today, we'll discuss the following:

- I saw Wale in concert last night. I had never seen him before, and I was excited because I am a Wale fan. Not only are his verses tight, his beats catchy, and his flow steady, but he comes off as perceptive. Further, his routine reflects a kind of knowing self-consciousness that is intriguing; that Seinfeld album, for example, was both executed and marketed in a way that acknowledge the gimmick but didn't detract from the music and only enhanced my esteem for Wale's savvy. As a result, I expected a coming-out-party kind of show. Kanye used to put those on back in 2003 and 2004.

Sadly, the show fell short. Short of showing off Wale and short of showing off his music. It wasn't even a Wale show. It was more like a Go-Go rally convened in lower Manhattan, and it raised the specter that Wale's ascendancy--he's been everywhere this year and is not going to be opening for Jay-Z in Europe--may be less about his music and more about his region's. I am not signing up for the latter. Not because I don't like Go-Go music (I am not a connoisseur, though what I've heard I like) but because Wale's rap music, infused with that Go-Go sensibility, is not only good but also different. I want that. I want an hour of mixtape shit and new verses over familiar beats. I want enthusiasm for rapping. I want a preview of an album that will be sincere and unafraid to be different. I can ride for all that.

But instead of coming close to delivering on that kind of promise, Wale's set was instead a bait-and-switch starring his backup Go-Go band. To be clear, the band is quite good. And dancing to the Go-Go sound was fun. But only to a point. When you go to a show hoping to hear a promising new rapper and instead get three songs you know and and a forced education about some other genre, it's hard to not feel underwhelmed. It would be like seeing Lauryn Hill with an expectation that she'd play music from her first record and instead getting indistinguishable, discursive, acoustic political screeds in a set cut short by crying and the temperamental failings of the star. Wait--that's exactly what she did at Smoking Grooves a few years ago. Never mind. I think you get the point, though.

As it was, the Wale set was high-energy but somewhat forced. It seemed as though he and his band so dearly wanted everyone to embrace a D.C. pastime that they performed in a hurried, almost impersonal fashion, running from one genre set piece to the next. Worse, Wale's rhymes and ad libs demonstrate a charisma that didn't regularly find its way into the set. He didn't live up to the personna conveyed on record, and that's always a bummer.

To be fair, if you're best known on the internets and as a result of some mixtapes, it might be advisable to stick with crowd-pleasing fare for the uninitiated when first performing. So I will assume that was his dominant instinct and I'll resolve to check for him again once he's mor widely known and has had more time to hone a stage show. But for the time being, Wale gets a demerit.

Shouts to some people who came through.

- If you turn on a rap radio station in New York right now, all you'll hear are songs by Lil' Wayne, songs by Ne-Yo, or songs written by Ne-Yo. Seriously. If it's not something from Most Overrated Alive then it's that fucking song "Closer," that fucking song on which Ne-Yo sings and Plies sounds like a retarded version of Master P (think about how deficient that person would be), or some song Ne-Yo hasn written for a flavor of the month. I admire Ne-Yo in some ways; he's a gifted song writer, and he seems to just do what he does bereft of petty jealousies or phony drama. But still, it's too much.

- This is not new, but for the record: the video for "Get Like Me"--specifically, the first minute--is the funniest rap video in a long time. The Real need to make some kind of parody.

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7.11.2008

Encore


Save me an Ensure.

As fate would have it, Joey's status appears
to be at an all-time high, perfect time to say goodbye
When I come back like Jordan, wearin' the 4-5
It ain't to play games witchu
It's to aim at you, probably maim you...

Or, to be clearer:
it's a wrap at work. I am retiring today. Now it's three weeks until St. Louis and five weeks until law-school orientation. This is very good for Straight Bangin'. It will have beaucoup content, and it will be a stronger site. At least until all of the law school reading breaks my eyes.

Enjoy the weekend. On Monday, we get right...

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7.09.2008

Brand to Davis: "Baron, Tell Me How My Ass Taste"


At least a blind man wasn't screwed over.

Wow. Baron Davis has to feel like an idiot today. I feel bad for him. And the Clippers? Well, they have...uh...an oft-injured big-money point guard who can dish to Chris Kaman.

Also, when did Kevin McHale turn his team into a charity organization? He's like Make-a-Wish for NBA teams. Oh, you need cap room to sign a free agent? You want a hall-of-fame forward to ignite a title run? You like Asian girls? Yeah, whatever you need. It's the K-Man!

What the fuck?

Sixers fans, would you rather have Brand or Josh Smith? I'd take Smith.

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7.07.2008

For the Next Two Years, "LeBron" Will be Spelled "Duhon"


Ah yes, back when the insanity began.

There will be no tears in these quarters as Stephon Marbury is ushered out of New York. Nor will there be any among the remaining Knicks, apparently:
Even before signing Duhon, the Knicks had resolved that they could not move forward while Marbury was still in the locker room. In their brief time with the franchise, Walsh and D’Antoni have learned how incredibly unpopular Marbury is with his teammates.
It's not hard to blame them. In a profession--point guard--where the ultimate currency is winning, and close behind it is facilitating teamwork, you will neither be successful nor popular if you can't deliver either. And as we all know quite well, Stephon has failed on both fronts during his tenure in his hometown.

The ugly Marbury Experiment's denouement should come as no surprise. Acquiring him was the kind of desperate activity that Isiah Thomas always mistook for accomplishment, and surely tethering the team to a selfish career cancer was misguided, at best. But hey, that was Isiah. And sadly, that was Marbury. The heralded-homecoming narrative that was always attached to Steph, even once he had come back and the team had sputtered--Coney Island's finest! That's what's up!--always rang hollow because, well, who really thought Marbury was going to bring a championship with him? His track record as a professional argued otherwise, and anyone who has read the The Last Shot or who has heard the stories about Steph and his family surely had a good sense that behind the rhetoric and PR, Steph is always going for dolo. That's probably not what you want in a point guard.

In the past few seasons, as the Knicks devolved into an embarrassment and distraction, Stephon was a symbol of all that ailed the club. His effort was inconsistent and his emotion was usually summoned to service for grandstanding or spite. When he wasnt hurt or fueding or banished--how ridiculous is that clause unto itself?--he took dumb shots and he led a team that was stilted on offense and disorganized on defense. Also not what you want in a point guard.

So now the Knicks turn to...a career backup whose best moments are usually a surprise to the audience. Given that Mike D'Antoni made Steve Nash into an (undeserving) two-time MVP, perhaps he will make Duhon something better than serviceable. But really, it likely doesn't matter. Though I tire of the constant class-of-2010 speculation--after all, not every team can sign LeBron, Dwyane, and Bosh, and we are, you know, two years away still--this seems like a maneuver meant to position the Brickers for a run at one of those ballyhooed prizes. There's even an unaffiliated website.

But just like Gallinari, who knows? No one has seen the D'Antoni Knicks yet, so who is to say what any of this means from a basketball perspective? Duhon can handle alright, can shoot alright, and can drive alright. Maybe that means he will be steady and focus on helping other guys get theirs. That, honestly, would be an encouraging start. One thing we do: the women of New York had better be ready...

























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7.06.2008

Real Talk: The New York Times Gets Patriotic

Many folks likely saw this editorial from over the long weekend, but it bears republishing because it rings true. Barack Obama has lost his way over the past few weeks. Or, more scary, perhaps Obama's true path is one divergent from that which he's promised to tread. Honestly, it was surprising to read The New York Times--which long ago stopped holding the line against the hypocrisy, illegality, stupidity, and deception that have been elevated by the Bush Administration--give such clear and powerful voice to the angst that has afflicted me recently:
Now there seems to be a new Barack Obama on the hustings. First, he broke his promise to try to keep both major parties within public-financing limits for the general election. His team explained that, saying he had a grass-roots-based model and that while he was forgoing public money, he also was eschewing gold-plated fund-raisers. These days he’s on a high-roller hunt.

Even his own chief money collector, Penny Pritzker, suggests that the magic of $20 donations from the Web was less a matter of principle than of scheduling. “We have not been able to have much of the senator’s time during the primaries, so we have had to rely more on the Internet,” she explained as she and her team busily scheduled more than a dozen big-ticket events over the next few weeks at which the target price for quality time with the candidate is more than $30,000 per person.

The new Barack Obama has abandoned his vow to filibuster an electronic wiretapping bill if it includes an immunity clause for telecommunications companies that amounts to a sanctioned cover-up of Mr. Bush’s unlawful eavesdropping after 9/11.

In January, when he was battling for Super Tuesday votes, Mr. Obama said that the 1978 law requiring warrants for wiretapping, and the special court it created, worked. “We can trace, track down and take out terrorists while ensuring that our actions are subject to vigorous oversight and do not undermine the very laws and freedom that we are fighting to defend,” he declared.

Now, he supports the immunity clause as part of what he calls a compromise but actually is a classic, cynical Washington deal that erodes the power of the special court, virtually eliminates “vigorous oversight” and allows more warrantless eavesdropping than ever.

The Barack Obama of the primary season used to brag that he would stand before interest groups and tell them tough truths. The new Mr. Obama tells evangelical Christians that he wants to expand President Bush’s policy of funneling public money for social spending to religious-based organizations — a policy that violates the separation of church and state and turns a government function into a charitable donation.

He says he would not allow those groups to discriminate in employment, as Mr. Bush did, which is nice. But the Constitution exists to protect democracy, no matter who is president and how good his intentions may be.

On top of these perplexing shifts in position, we find ourselves disagreeing powerfully with Mr. Obama on two other issues: the death penalty and gun control.

Mr. Obama endorsed the Supreme Court’s decision to overturn the District of Columbia’s gun-control law. We knew he ascribed to the anti-gun-control groups’ misreading of the Constitution as implying an individual right to bear arms. But it was distressing to see him declare that the court provided a guide to “reasonable regulations enacted by local communities to keep their streets safe.”

What could be more reasonable than a city restricting handguns, or requiring that firearms be stored in ways that do not present a mortal threat to children?
I am having a hard time understanding how this Constiutional law scholar can countenance the positions he's now taking with their fundamental illegality. Warrantless wiretaps? Proliferation of handguns in an era when the 18th Century militias of the Revolution no longer exist? A further entangling of church and state?

Who is this guy and what happend to the man who promised change? Who promised to govern, not just pander and pay out favors? Who promised to reverse the depressing erosion of the laws, values, and standards that used to define this country? It's just as the Times said: the new Barack is anything but improved.

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7.03.2008

New James Bond Trailer: Fuck Yes



Saw this last night before I saw the very funny Hancock. Can't effing wait.

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