You Know It's Hard Out Here for an Isiah Thomas

Ah yes, Isiah's halcyon days, back when he was ruining other people's lives, not just his own.

If you don't feel bad for Isiah Thomas these days then you're just not a human. Do you realize what this man is going through right now? A scorned, dejected lover seeing his affairs of the heart reduced to tabloid headlines? Seeing his private matters aired publicly? That's foul. And worse, it has to be humiliating that he's being portrayed as someone who can't properly seduce a subordinate through coercion, intimidation, and disrespect. You don't go after a man's professionalism and management skills like that.

It has to be agonizing, not getting "no love" from Anucha Browne Sanders. Were this Shakespeare, we'd weep for our protagonist, a man whose righteous, heavenly paramour seems to ever evade his lustful grasp.This is a woman who spends her time collecting big money--like, Jim McIvaine paper--while emailing the head of Madison Square Garden to ask important questions, like why her name isn't listed higher in the team's media guide. That's what marketing directing is all about! That's some sexy shit right there. She's just so busy playing hard to get, always with the highly coveted corporate administrivia of the C-suite and VP levels. Who could resist such a comely, coy tax evader and her licentious office flirtations, like asking the General Manager to hand-sign letters to season-ticket holders? You'd be calling her "bitch"--not in the middle of sentences, but certainly at the beginning or end of them--at the workplace, too.

What is a man to do in that circumstance? To quote the Bard, "For to deny his growing masculinity (ifyouknowhatI'msayin'), surely criminal it would be." How could you not tell an employee that you wanted to take her "off site"? How could you not introduce her to people while complaining that she made it hard to get work done because she was just so easy on the eyes? I think that's downright romantic. Isiah's burning passion turned into a conflagration of the heart due to the drawn-out courtship--that's powerful! And still so tragic. I'm telling you, this has likely been a sterner test than the late-80s Lakers. How do you mend a broken heart?

Before you protest, before you say that this is not one of the great love stories, that Isiah has not suffered that much, try to picture the scene: There's Isiah, a man who's spent more than a year coveting a subordinate, a woman who's proven to be quite the coquette as she's rejected her boss's come-ons and somehow ignored the loving insults he's hurled (and trust me, "bitch" would sound loving coming from Isiah because he's black. As he says [8th paragraph], it's different if a black man says it. Check the tape. Literally.) In the company of strangers, he has draped his arm around Sanders as she ever so subtly pulls away, the body language of disgust serving as a key reinforcement of just how intensely their loins burn for one another. He then looks upon her with a soft, pensive glance of appreciation and says, "This bitch makes it hard to get work done."

Wouldn't you just melt? Feel Isiah's pain.

I'm telling you, it's hard out here for Isiah these days.