Knicks Basketball: F*@% Those White People. And Interns

The 2007-2008 New York Knicks: We're on the prowl!

It feels as though eons have passed since I called Henry while overcome by the excitement initially generated by the Knicks acquiring Zach Randolph. Of course, since then, I've calmed down, but still--it was just surreal to experience a moment when I wasn't ashamed of Isiah Thomas, and the alien sensation caused me to get a tad carried away.

Whatever piece of my constitution was reached by the Randolph acquisition resurfaced this week. Football is no longer a collective summertime longing, warm weather is no longer a guarantee, and brown is steadily replacing pastels among the sartorially savvy. In other words, NBA training camps open in less than a month! That realization emerged this week and it pushed me so far as to solicit interest in buying Knicks tickets among my friends. I'll tell you what I told them:

When Isiah Thomas took over my beloved Brickerbockers, I vowed to not financially support the team until he was gone. When the Dolans countenanced his outrageous management and behavior, it only strengthened my resolve.

But I've broken down this off-season as Boston has beefed up its roster and Kevin Durant has come to the Lig. I now find myself on the market for tickets to a few Knicks games this year. I guess I just can't resist our sprint toward mediocrity.

I remain fully enthused about the NBA (and that will surely be reflected on this website as we march on toward opening tips around the Association), but when it comes to the Knicks, I think I now mostly just can't resist our sprint toward debauchery. Do you realize how good it's going to be rooting for this no-defense-playing, overpaid, oddly assembled team? Forget the basketbal; look at the extracurriculars:

The duplicitous, likely racist Coach/GM is allegedly saying, "Bitch, I don't give a fuck about these white people." He's comparing his life to Love and Basketball. He's pulling women aside and using the word "ho" at the workplace. You don't get that with other teams. You might get some low-level transgression, but you don't get some R. Kelly-style real talk. As Biggie might have said, because of Anucha, Isiah's on some real eff-a-chick shit.

And were that not enough, we've got a star point guard who tempers his admirable instincts to serve as a role model by keeping it real and turning out interns. Interns who work for the team. That he can pick up after they've been dropped off by his cousin. After accompanying said cousin to a strip club. By asking, "Are you going to get in the truck?"

If you had to use one word to describe the Knicks, it would likely be "classy." Am I wrong? I'm not, and that's why I stay loyal. The team never breaks my heart, always tries hard, and just does things the right way. You don't go around starting conversations with any old person by saying "bitch." That's the kind of professionalism that you save for coworkers whom you intermittently taunt and harass. And you don't sleep with any old intern just because you have power and celebrity. You wait to swoop in on the ones who work for you and go to strip clubs with your cousin. That might not be the way that the "San Antonio Spurs" do things, but that's how we do in New York.

So print that on the season-ticket forms for all those white people. "Knicks Basketball: We do things the right way. The ski-mask classy way."

Real talk.


- Also: Henry's take.

- R. Kelly, "Real Talk"