Albums of the Year

All I can say is that some people have horrible taste

If you can name the people in the pictures above, then I'll say with 99.9% certainty that you follow hip-hop fairly closely. And if you have their posters hanging on your wall, than I'll say with 99.9% certainty that you write for Pitchfork, Stylus, or some other hipsters-hating-on-hipsters music-criticism internet (well, except for 50. Everyone hates him.) And just so we're clear: no, I don't consider Ian to be part of this questionable- bad-taste-having group. He's a perspective- and humor-lending contributor.

For the uninitiated, going clockwise, that's Mike Jownes, Paul Wall, Young Jeezy, Juelz Santana, Mr. Cent, and lil' Lil' Wayne. You might want to commit these faces to memory because you're staring at Hip-Hop 2005, in all of its depressing glory. Well, I should say most--there were, of course, other names and other stories. But 2005 was primarily a year of southern ascendancy and east-coast studio thuggery. Everywhere you turned, if it wasn't the lazy drawl of Houston's candy-painted, cough-medicine-driven vehicular opulence then it was the not-that-menacing thug bluster of 50 and every mixtape aspirant trying to follow dude's formula for New York success. And if you weren't hearing that, then you were probably shivering amidst the howling winds of the snow storm that blew in from everywhere: all anyone wanted to rap about--in New York, Virginia Beach, Atlanta, Louisiana--was coke.

Of course your boy boy had this to say to that (well, for the most part): *shrug*...*yawn*...*sigh*. As far as I'm concerned, hip-hop was mostly horrible this year. While there surely were a number of exciting songs, and even some good records, most artists continued to demonstrate just how far they have strayed from album making. In this era of for-radio music, a time during which gimmick rappers like Mike Jownes can become household names, the admirable ability to construct an entire album with sonic cohesion and some sort of narrative arc while actually spitting something of interest is too infrequently manifest. And even the better albums are too often filled with repetitive and irksome rhymes (like, oh, I don't know, The Documentary, perhaps?).

Now look: I have a Dip Set song as my second-favorite track of the year; my favorite rapper spits all kinds of nonsense all the time; and I just did a mini interview in which I lauded informal, playful hip-hop. My favorite records include irreverent, goofy, catchy joints like The Low End Theory, Buhloone Mind State, and Things Fall Apart. So please don't think I have taken my place at the internets podium and am screaming down some supercilious castigation. I am not asking that everyone attempt to pick up the Public Enemy torch. I don't think that would be much fun. I'm just asking that rappers think a little more. Take a little more time to write rhymes; to pick beats; to sequence tracks. I mean, are we really supposed to care about Paul Wall and what it do for over an hour? Or how hood Fat Joe thinks he is while using embarrassing production caricatures? Or how lyrical Chamillionaire wishes he were?

Alright, enough ranting. Let's get into the snark and the sap--well, not yet. I am posting my lists now and will add the commentary later today when I have a moment. Sorry; j-o....

Below, please find an attempt to catalogue some hip-hop releases from 2005 using a fairly arbitrary stratification system. I haven't included every record or even all of the joints that I heard. As always, let's discuss and/or fight in the comments section.

Albums That Just Stunk, Regardless of What Else You Were Told
- Young Jeezy, Let's Get It: Thug Motivation 101
- Fat Joe, All or Nothing
- The Away Team, National Anthem
- 50 Cent, The Massacre
- Juelz Santana, What the Game's Been Missing

Albums That Should Have Been Better
- Kanye West, Late Registration
- Blackalicious, The Craft:
- Thyrday, Perfection Experiment 2:
- Little Brother, The Minstrel Show:
- DangerDoom, The Mouse and the Mask:

Albums That Were Better Than You Wanted to Admit
- Get Rich or Die Tryin' Soundtrack
- Black Rob, The Black Rob Report
- Dwele, Some Kinda
- Nujabes, Modal Soul
- Trife and Ghostface, 718: Stapleton to Somalia

Hot Mixtapes
- Raekwon, The Vatican Mixtape
- The Clipse, Got It 4 Cheap, Vol. 2
- Purple Ribbon All-Stars, Got Purp?, Vol. II
- Nas and Dirty Harry, Living Legends
- Rhymefest, Rhymefest

Top Ten Albums of the Year
10) The Game, The Documentary
9) Blueprint, 1988
8) GZA and DJ Muggs, Grandmasters
7) Slim Thug, Already Platinum
6) Raheem Devaughn, The Love Experience
5) Beanie Sigel, The B. Coming
4) Little Brother, The Minstrel Show
3) Common, BE
2) O.C., Starchild
1) Slum Village, Slum Village